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Chapter Seventeen


The weekend has come, but the students of Capcom-Midway High School still had school stuff to do. Luckily for them, it literally had nothing to do with papers and homework. Unluckily, it involved Homecoming which meant the descent parade and the dreaded football game against the undefeated Namco High team.

The main street near the school was closed off with spectators waiting for the parade along the side of the street. Nearby, Principal Gen was with a TV news reporter.

“Good afternoon everyone, this is April O’Neil with Channel 6 news-”

“Eh,” said Gen confused. “Isn’t that the female red head from Ninja Tur-”

“We are reporting live in the Capcom-Midway school district with their yearly exciting event, Homecoming. Why they are making me report a common event, I have no idea, but with me now is the Principal of this high school, Principal Gen. Are you excited about this?”

Gen sighed and replied, “Well Miss O’Neil, our school is a bit on the chaotic side, but what school isn’t and what is ‘normal’ anyway today in our society? About thi-”

“Oh look!” Miss O’Neil cried out. “Here comes the participants of the parade! Tell us Mr. Gen, who are representing each of these floats?”

“Well,” Gen said looking onward. “The first float coming towards us is one of ours clubs, the Demi-Human club.”

A float came by with a huge statue of a Shokan. The members of the club waved to everyone they passed by. Following it is the Fashion Club dressed in clothes they customized themselves.

Pullum smiled, but it was a fake one. “Why is it that we are behind the Demi-Human club? Why couldn’t we be first?”

Kitana sighed regretting what she was about to say next. “Look at it this way…once people see us, they’ll forget all about them.”

“That’s true! You’re the best Kitana!”

The next float that came by was for the three campaigners for Class President. Hsien-Ko, Vega, and Quan-Chi were waving to everyone. Next to them were their campaign managers Honda, Sagat, and Shang Tsung.

“This is so exciting!” cried Hsien-Ko. “To think that later on at the football game, it’ll be announced who will be the Class President!”

“I believe it will be you Koko,” said Honda.

“Thanks Eddie!”

“Why aren’t people looking at my beautiful face?” cried a frustrated Vega.

“Eh, because you’re wearing that mask thingy,” replied Sagat.

“…oh yeah,” Vega said. “But I don’t wanna take it off! What if a debris landed on my face?”

Sagat sighed a little.

Shang Tsung growled at Quan-Chi. “I can’t believe you’re making me wear this.”

“What’s wrong with pink tutus?” questioned Quan-Chi. “They’re so colorful and happy, and the best part is, bright colors draw people’s attention!”

Shang sighed. He looked at the people staring and laughing at them with Quan-Chi completed oblivious of it. ‘So much for drawing people’s attention.

The other floats passed by one by one until the football team and cheerleading squad came walking by.

“And here are our football team,” said Miss O’Neil to the camera. “Who will be facing the undefeated Namco High Jaguars tonight at their football stadium.

The cheerleading squad stopped for a moment and began their dance routine. The men in the audience whistled and cheered loudly for them. Frost was not too happy about that (most of the cheerleaders were minors for crying out loud) so she randomly froze all the horny men in their places and then decided to make a sheet of ice under the girls making them slip.

“AAHH!” cried Karin. “My pinkie nail!” The other girls whined as Nitara let out a loud animal-like hiss.

In the meanwhile, Rolento looked at the spectators, but then he noticed that one of the players by the name of Paul Phoenix held up a sign that said, ‘Capcom-Midway Sux!”

“You asked for it!” Rolento cried out lighting up a grenade. Paul saw what was going on and made a run for it while Rolento chased him.

“I am the best in the universe!” Paul randomly declared.

The Homecoming Football Game

The entire seating at the high school stadium was completely packed by everyone associated with both Capcom-Midway and Namco. Both football teams got themselves ready for the big game.

As tradition for all captains, Demitri met up with Namco’s team captain Jin Kazama. They looked at each other for a moment before shaking hands. “Good luck tonight,” Jin said.

“Same to you,” Demitri replied. Then he saw the coach of the team Heihachi. “Oh my God! That’s my little league coach when I was in elementary school!”

“Heh, that’s my grandpa,” Jin mentioned. “This is the very thing that blows about my life…my Dad is the History teacher, my Mom is the school nurse, my Grandpa is the PE teacher and coach…and my great-grandfather is the principal!” Jin kind of shook at the last statement.

Demitri blinked a couple of times. “Gee, that bites.”

Meanwhile, the cheerleaders, recovered from their little accident met up with the Namco cheerleading squad. All of them glared at one another, specifically Nitara and Namco’s captain Anna Williams.

“Well, well, well,” said Anna. “If it isn’t the Capcom-Midway team?”

Nitara let out a hiss. “Bring it!” she cried out.

“Oh!” Anna replied wagging a finger. “It’s already been brought it!”

Oh God, kill me now,’ thought Frost.

The two captains continued arguing when suddenly, Anna threw down her pom-poms and began pulling on Nitara’s hair. Nitara kicked her off of her and the two began a catfight. Both football teams stopped what they were doing and watched the two captains go at it.

“Woot!” cried Jax. “Keep it going!”

Paul Phoenix looked on with jealousy. “I’m STILL the best fighter in the universe!”

Suddenly, Coach Heihachi’s pet bear Kuma smacked him over the head.

“WHAH!” Paul cried out teary-eyed.

Finally, the referees broke it up. “This is a football game, not a women’s wrestling match!”

“AWE!” the men cried out before dispersing.

After the fighting, Havik was walking around the area trying to find something interesting to do.

“Dammit!” he said outloud. “Must…make…chaos!”

Suddenly, someone nearby cried out, “Chaos! MUAHAHAHA!”

“What the-” Havik stated blinking his eyes. He then spotted Bryan Fury laughing off his infamous, creepy, insane laugh. Havik ran over to him. “Dude! That was like the most chaotic laugh I ever heard!”

“Yes,” replied Bryan.

Then randomly, the two of them exchanged the infamous, creepy, insane laugh making everyone around them a bit nervous.

Soon, the referee blew the whistle, the signal for both teams to gather around. The two captains met up as the referee held a coin.

“Namco makes the call,” said the referee. He then tossed the coin up in the air.

“Heads!” called out Jin.

Demitri folded his arms, pretty much waiting for an object to fall on his head. He expected more of bird poop, the coin, or a squirrel…but instead, a shirt, jeans, and shoes landed on him.

“What the-” Demitri cried out all confused. He looked up and was in complete shock when he saw Coach Heihachi wearing nothing but a sumo underwear.

“GO TEAM!” Heihachi cried out dancing around with his nearly-bare butt jiggling.

Jin smacked his own forehead. “GRANDPA! Was that necessary?”

“It’s the-other-team’s-homecoming tradition!”

Demitri shook the clothes off of him as the coin landed on the ground.

“Tails!” the referee cried out. “Capcom-Midway Crows get receive the ball first!”

The teams disperse and the game begins…

After their face-off with the DC High team, this was all a piece-of-cake for the Capcom-Midway team despite the fact that Charlie fell down a random hole on the ground. However, by the end of the second quarter, Namco was winning 21-8.

The referee blew his whistle and announced the half time shows. First up was the announcement of the winner to be Class President. Hsien-Ko, Vega, and Quan-Chi (who was still wearing his pink tutu) along with their campaign managers Honda, Sagat, and Shang Tsung (who wore regular clothes now) assembled themselves on the field and Principal Gen spoke into the microphone holding up an envelope.

“Okay everyone!” Mr. Gen announced. “This was one interesting election, but the decision has been made by the students themselves. And you’re Class President this year is…” Mr. Gen opened up the envelope and looked at the name on the paper. “Hsien-Ko!”

Everyone cheered as Hsien-Ko smiled and jumped for joy along with Honda. “I won, I won!” she cried out.

“YAY!” cried out Honda.

Vega huffed and puffed as he left the field. Sagat sighed and followed him. Quan-Chi stood there in utter shock, but Shang Tsung on the other hand was not that much surprised.

“How could we have lost?” asked Quan-Chi. “What did we do wrong?”

Shang Tsung growled at him. “Because you devised ‘tutus as school uniforms’ in our plan you idiot!”

“What is wrong with tutus?” Quan-Chi demanded getting all offended.

“Because tutus are only for real ballerinas! Not everyone is a ballerina!” Shang Tsung sighed to himself then. “Now, since that plan backfired, we are going to have to find another means for us, the ‘Deadly Alliance,’ to take over the school.”

“Yippee!” cried Quan-Chi as he followed Shang Tsung off the field.

As Hsien-Ko and Honda continued with their celebration, one of Namco’s team players, Pac-Man, noticed Hsien-Ko…and felt hungry.

“Blue ghost!” Pac-Man cried out and went after Hsien-Ko with his jaw opening and closing in fast speed.

Hsien-Ko’s excitement faded as she noticed Pac-Man. “EEEEEEEEEEK!” she cried out and attempted to get away from him.

Honda looked at the situation all confused. “That made me hungry, time to get a burrito.” Then he left the field.

The next show for half-time came and that was the cheerleaders’ dance routines. The Namco team went first dancing to an unknown techno music. Anna, who was in the front middle, nearly forgot her fight with Nitara…because her shredded shirt ended up falling off revealing her top. The guys whistled at her as she screamed off the field, her teammates completely oblivious to what just happened.

Once the Namco team completed their dance routine, everyone awaited for the Capcom-Midway cheerleaders to come out. Instead, everyone there fell silent as the female Kung-Fu Chickens dressed in cheerleading clothes entered the field.

“Eh,” said Mr. Motaro. “Where are the real squad?”

The camera shows all the cheerleaders tied up, gagged, and thrown in the janitor’s closet in the school building. Then it returns back to the field.

“Be prepared for anything,” Guile assured his team. The Namco side looked on with perplexed faces wondering if this was all a joke or not. The Capcom-Midway cheerleading squad’s theme song played on.

Surprisingly, the female Kung-Fu Chickens did the same exact dance routine as the regular cheerleading squad. This went about normally for a while…until they assembled themselves and held up two signs. One was a picture of Ryu and the other spelled out Ryu’s name. Everyone there immediately looked at Ryu in surprise.

“What the hell?” Ryu said all confused.

“Eh,” replied Ken. “I have the feeling that those ‘chicks’ have a crush on you, Ryu.”

A big sweat drop appeared on Ryu’s head.

But before anything else could happen, everyone suddenly saw a large band of Ninja Squirrels coming after the female Kung-Fu Chickens holding various weapons and shields in their hands. The chickens saw the squirrels come after them and they run away in fear. As they do, the rest of the Kung-Fu Chickens, also holding various weapons and shields in their wings. Everyone watched with sweat drops on her heads as the football field suddenly turned into a battlefield of war.

“Eh,” said Rolento. “I rate this as the weirdest Homecoming in the history of our school.”

“You said it,” replied Sub-Zero.

Within moment’s time, the battle was over, ending it in a draw as the chickens and the squirrels retreat leaving the dead ones behind. Principal Gen sighed and pressed a random red buttom. The ground split quickly dumping the corpses into a deep, dark hole. Then, the ground came back together.

“Let’s continue the game!” demanded Gen. The teams cheered as they returned to the field, which is now back as a football field.

By the middle of the fourth quarter, Capcom-Midway managed to catch up, but Namco was still winning 35-21. Capcom-Midway had to score two more touch downs and two more kick goals in order to win.

The team set themselves down with Capcom-Midway with the ball. Jax, the quarterback, got himself in position.

“Down! Set! Hike!” The ball was passed to him as the other players tackled each other down. Jax backed up a bit and noticed that Sub-Zero was opened. He passed the ball and Sub-Zero who managed to catch it. Sub-Zero managed to get out of everyone’s way and managed to make a touchdown.

Those cheering for their team roared in excitement, and that included Sub-Zero’s Mom who was only wearing a sparkling bikini top and extremely short shorts. She jumped up and down with excitement.

“Yay!” she cried out as the guys around her drooled for obvious reasons. “My baby boy made a touchdown!”

As Sub-Zero’s Mom continued jumping up and down, she ended up knocking Sindel’s (Kitana’s Mom) drink out of her hand. The contents went down Sindel’s shirt.

“You b-tch!” Sindel cried out and managed to punch Sub-Zero’s Mom right in the face. She replied to that by pulling on Sindel’s hair. Everyone now has stopped to watch yet another catfight taking place at Homecoming.

“MOM!” both Sub-Zero and Kitana cried out going after their mothers.

Sub-Zero’s Mom and Sindel continued with scratching, biting, and pulling each other’s hairs with some parts of their clothes torn off. Then, they ended up landing in an area that was mudded and it was not considered a mud fight.

“WOOT!” all the men cried out and their girls immediately slapped them afterwards.

“Ladies, cut it out!” Miss Mika cried as she tried to break the fight up.

“You shut up!” both women cried out. Each one took Miss Mika by her pigtails and pulled her down face first into the mud.

Finally after another couple of minutes, Sub-Zero and Kitana both pried their Moms from each other leaving poor Miss Mika in the mud.

“Cut it out now!” demanded Sub-Zero. “We’re trying to play a game here.”

“I’m sorry honey,” replied Sub-Zero’s Mom.

Then, when the four of them moved, all four slipped and landed and toppled on top of Miss Mika.

“OOF!” Miss Mika cried out.

“My new clothes!” cried Kitana.

“My pride…” said Sub-Zero.

After the incident, the game continued. Unfortunately, no one else was able to make yet another score so at the end of the first quarter, Namco won the game 35-29.

The Capcom-Midway team gathered around Mr. Motaro expecting to hear a lecture since they lost a game in their own homecoming. Instead, Mr. Motaro smiled. “I’m proud of you boys. You’ve worked hard and though we’ve completely humiliated ourselves in front of our own people, it’s better than what the team captain of Namco is getting right now…”

Everyone turned around and saw Jin being chased by his nearly naked Grandpa.

“Get away from me you sweaty freak!” Jin cried out.

“But we won the game!” Heihachi cried out. “Now come and give your Grandpa a big, bear hug!”

Unfortunately for Jin, Heihachi caught up with him. With his nearly nude and sweaty body, Heihachi brought him into a big bear hug.

“HELP!” Jin cried out.

Another cheerleader named Ling Xiaoyu saw what was happening to Jin and dropped her pom-poms. “JIN! I’ll save you!” She ran over to them, but instead of saving Jin, Heihachi also pulled her into a hug, her face near his armpit.

“This is such a happy day! HAHAHA!” yelled out a very-happy Heihachi while his grandson and friend received torture.

The Capcom-Midway team turned around right after that. “Glad my grandpa’s not like that,” said Rolento.

“Now go hit the showers!” Mr. Motaro cried out. “Especially you Sub-Zero!”

Sub-Zero grumbled to himself as the team went to the locker room.

Much later after the game at Miss Mika’s house…

A young man was sitting on the couch playing an RPG game at around midnight. Then he head the door fly open and when he looked up, he saw his wife Mika coming into the room completely covered in mud.

“Hey sweetie,” the man said. “What happened to you?”

Mika became angry then. She took her clothes off except her undergarments and threw them at her husband’s head, then stormed off into the bathroom and slammed the door.

“What did I do?” the husband said all confused.


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